One Cloud in a Clear Blue Sky

 

Do you see this cloud on the horizon? It was the first thing I noticed when I looked out the door a few minutes ago, but then I realized it's the only cloud in the sky. The only one. Why did I see it first? Aren't we the same way with our trials, our disappointments, our afflictions? We focus on that one thing when we are so blessed in other ways. I know. I've been there. 

Last night I was looking for something on my Googe Drive. There were so many documents that weren't in folders. It was so difficult to find what I was looking for, so I decided to organize them so that I could find things better in the future. I found some things that I had journaled after the event that I view as one of those "life before this and life after this" events-the accident caused by a drunk driver on I-255 near Dupo, Illinois. I was struggling. I knew it then, but looking back on what I wrote, I am shocked to see the turmoil in my soul during that time. I was trying to look at the clear blue sky full of blessings, but I was drawn back to that cloud that seemed to be the focal point of the entire sky. Even in the depressing things I wrote, I still understood where my focus should be. (I'll copy and paste a poem I don't even remember writing at the end of this post. It's not great poetry but it reveals where my heart was at the time.)

Psalm 16:1-2 Protect me, God, for I take refuge in You. I said to Yahweh, "You are my Lord; I have nothing good besides You." 

I have nothing good besides God. Think about that. Good health. Financial security. Comfortable living. Loving families. None of that is good unless God holds the most important place in our hearts. 

Psalm 16:5-9 Lord, You are my portion and my cup of blessing; You hold my future. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I will praise the Lord who counsels me-even at night my conscience instructs me. I keep the Lord in mind always. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my spirit rejoices; my body also rests securely. 

These verses have so much to teach us about life in general, but also where we need to focus in times of trials. God is our cup of blessing. Think about that for a minute. About a year ago I gave up the K-cups and have a regular coffee pot. I set the timer to start the coffee about 15 minutes before I usually wake up. That cup of coffee is a blessing because it helps me open my eyes and face the day. Now, doesn't that sound silly when we realize that God alone is our cup of blessing. He opens our eyes to Who He IS and gives us the strength to face whatever trials come into our lives. He holds our future. No goal setting, no plan of action, no day planner, no financial planner, no life coach holds our future. When we trust God with our future, we can know with certainty that the boundary lines will fall in pleasant places. (We will talk about pleasant places in a minute in verse 11.) We have a beautiful inheritance. Just recently I realized that our inheritance is in Heaven. Hear me out here. We often think that our inheritance is Heaven. Our inheritance is being in the presence of Holy God for eternity. We have that inheritance now also because we have His Spirit dwelling in us when we accept His gift of salvation. We can praise Him because He gives us counsel. Who better to trust for advice than our all-knowing, all-loving, self-sacrificing, always-present, eternal God? The first sentence is verse 8 is the reset button, the call to refocus. "I keep the Lord in mind always." Our focus must be on Him. Always. He must be in our mind. our thinking brain. Even when emotions overcome the truth, we must focus on the Truth of God. Satan will distract us with the lies of our emotions. God is the One who keeps us in pleasant places and who instructs us. Because He is with us, we will not be shaken. Sometimes we may feel shaken, but we will not be shaken. At Bryan's funeral one of my cousins said, "You are a strong woman." I didn't feel strong. But what my cousin saw was God's strength in me. Even in trials, afflictions, grief, our hearts can be glad and rejoice, and we can rest securely because of Who God IS. 

Psalm 16:11 You reveal the path of life to me: in Your presence is abundant joy; in your right hand are eternal pleasures. 

Looking back at "pleasant places" in verse 6, we can see in verse 11 that abundant joy, eternal pleasures and pleasant places are not the result of our circumstances but the very presence of God in our lives. When death and suffering surround us, God is the One who reveals the path of Life to us. He IS the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Before I paste this poem, I want to make sure that you understand that even though there were times when I felt overwhelmed with grief and added responsibilities, those times were few when compared with the times that God carried me through the circumstances to fellowship with Him through Bible study and prayer, through the love of other believers, through His indwelling Spirit. He continues to give me peace that is truly beyond understanding. If you are struggling now with some trial, please, please, pray that God will help you refocus on Him. He will bless you, counsel you, and bring you through with joy. 

Eight years ago my husband died

When a drunken gangster took a ride

Even though his heart still beats

It’s been 8 years of life’s defeats

The man who once was sweet and strong

Struggles now just to get along

Yes,  I-255’s  tangled scene

Has left my husband sad and mean

From the case of beer’s mere cost

Our aspirations/dreams seem lost

I wish I had my husband back

He who once had just the knack

To turn my anger to a laugh

He was indeed my other half

Sometimes I just want a hug

A happy life that’s warm and snug

How many times I cry and cry

How very hard I try and try

To be loving and strong

When who he is seems oh so wrong

I can not do this all alone

Thus to God my prayers I moan

What lessons should I learn

What truths should I discern

For God alone can strengthen me

And open my heart’s  eyes so I can see

The reasons why things happened so

The ways through trials, hearts can grow

I want so much to trust His will

But in my heart I struggle still

For my life to Him to conform

His will not mine to be the norm

How can this happen in my life

Who once was then my husband’s wife

How can I find God’s loving peace

And stubborn pride and hurt release

I must daily seek my life to yield

And trust in God’s Word revealed

That things He plans all for our good

Much better than I ever could

The only answer then I know

Is to lean on God who loves me so

Even though my heart still breaks

For mine and my family’s sakes

When happier times I recall

I know that God still loves us all